How Mom Became Narcissistic- What She Didn’t Get in Childhood

Mom just can’t take criticism.


Regardless of how carefully you put your complaint, mom can’t admit any wrongdoing. No matter what you say, she always has a comeback.

Does she think she is untouchable or perfect?

That would be an easy answer, but you know, that’s not the whole story.

Despite what looks like arrogance on the outside, you know she is an unhappy person on the inside.

There’s a hard shell, an armor she can’t let anyone see beneath. She needs for everything to look perfect on the outside.

What’s more, she needs you to look perfect.

That’s why what you do is never good enough for her. Underneath it all, she doesn’t feel good enough about herself. As a result, she needs you to look good to make her look good.

The technical word for this is “narcissistic extension.”

The daughter trapped in the “good daughter” role may suffer from the good daughter syndrome.

You may have long suspected mom has NPD or is at least is high in Narcissistic traits.

You may wonder what happened to mom in her childhood to make her develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder or have traits of the disorder.

I discuss in this video what it was mom didn’t get in her childhood (that every child needs) to cause her to be narcissistic.


A mother who is narcissistic or has narcissistic traits is someone who didn’t get what we call narcissistic supplies where they were little.

What we mean by that is that when children are very little, if all goes well, they get the idea that their very being brings at least one person delight. We all need this.

Whether there are words of praise, whether there’s just the glimmer in Mom’s eyes and the delight that when baby looks back up at Mom, that enough of the time, not all the time, but enough of the time, what baby sees mirrored back is…



Katherine Fabrizio

Katherine Fabrizio Empowers Daughters of Narcissistic/Borderline/Difficult Mothers who are trapped in the role of “Good Daughter” in psychotherapy and online.