Is Mom A Helicopter Mom Or A Covert Narcissist? A Sure-Fire Way To Tell

Is Mom a helicopter… overly involved mother or a covert narcissist?

It can be hard to tell from the outside looking in.

PTA president, school volunteer, Sunday school teacher… who would guess mom doesn’t have her daughter’s best interest at heart? And, consciously, she may.

Mom may tell herself she is her daughter’s champion.” Come hell or high water, nothing but the best for my daughter”, is her battle cry.

This mother treats mothering like a competitive sport, sometimes in the spotlight, and sometimes behind the scenes.

Mom knows best! Mom to the rescue! Mom is always right!


And the culture stands back and cheers, loudly!

Where does good intention end and overreach begin?

Let’s consider the following:

A closer look at the covert narcissistic mother would show you this mother micromanages her daughter’s every move.

She pushes for perfection in her a relentless pursuit to orchestrate her daughter’s successes and her parenting glory.

The problem is…this level of involvement isn’t necessarily best for her daughter. While the culture sees her as a saint, the perfect mom, the psychological truth is … this Mom is appropriating her daughter.

Mom is living through her daughter rather than letting her daughter live.

Unlike the braggadocious narcissistic male counterpart, the covert narcissistic mother gathers up her narcissistic supplies in more underground, covert ways. Attuned to social expectations, she uses her position as a doting mother & supermom as cover.

These mothers involve themselves in their daughter’s every decision — so involved, in fact, that their daughters are not allowed to make decisions on their own.

This level of intimacy between mother and daughter may be seen by many as, “all good.”

“Look they are so close. She tells…

Katherine Fabrizio

Katherine Fabrizio Empowers Daughters of Narcissistic/Borderline/Difficult Mothers who are trapped in the role of “Good Daughter” in psychotherapy and online.